


I must be taken in hand

by crowdedmasks (emptymasks)



Category: Rebecca - Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca - Daphne du Maurier & Related Fandoms, Rebecca - Levay/Kunze
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, Cheating, Domestic Violence, F/F, Feelings Realization, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Lesbian Sex, Light Dom/sub, Master/Servant, Older Woman/Younger Woman, POV First Person, angsty porn, because that seems to be my thing now, the domestic violence happened off-screen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:19:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25095979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emptymasks/pseuds/crowdedmasks
Summary: “Stop,” My voice trembled. “Please, Danny, please stop, I can’t, I’m sorry.” I couldn’t stop the rivers of tears that were suddenly spilling down my face.Her hand stilled inside me but she didn’t withdraw it. She just froze there. I couldn’t look at her and she just kept kneeling there like she always did when she knew there was more I wanted to say, but struggled to get the words out. My ankle throbbed through the bandage.“I didn’t fall.”
Relationships: Mrs. Danvers/I, Mrs. Danvers/Ich, Mrs. Danvers/Narrator, Narrator (Rebecca)/Mrs. Danvers (Rebecca)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	I must be taken in hand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [neednot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neednot/gifts).
  * Inspired by [ganz besonders / completely peculiar](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25052830) by [neednot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neednot/pseuds/neednot). 



Her fingers were fast but soft inside me, stroking and coaxing me. My toes curled and my ankle twinged and throbbed through the bandage and all the thoughts I’d been trying to suppress so I could enjoy something, so she could enjoy me, came pushing their way out and I couldn’t stop thinking about his voice and his eyes and his hands and everything was hard and harsh and harsher and harsher-

“Stop,” My voice trembled. “Please, Danny, please stop, I can’t, I’m sorry.” I couldn’t stop the rivers of tears that were suddenly spilling down my face.

Her hand stilled inside me but she didn’t withdraw it. She just froze there. I couldn’t look at her and she just kept kneeling there like she always did when she knew there was more I wanted to say, but struggled to get the words out.

I couldn’t bear it if she looked at me with disgust, but I didn’t know how I’d cope if she was looking at me with pity instead.

I kept staring at the ceiling as my breath choked on itself and I wanted to tell her but I shouldn’t and what would she even do with the information as it wasn’t as though she could fix anything but I couldn’t bear it.

“I didn’t fall.”

I could feel how she kept staring at me. I wasn’t sure if she was just trying to temper her hatred of Maxim, or… if she’d already guessed. But, it wasn’t unlike me to be clumsy… How lucky for him…

“I didn’t fall, Danny, I didn’t trip down the stairs he-” My voice refused to work anymore and curled in on itself.

Long, thin fingers crept back through my hair. She leaned in towards me and placed a kiss on a tear as it ran down my cheek. Her hand was bracing the back of my head like a mother would with a child as it suckled on her breast.

“Danny,” I whimpered.

“You’re alright,” Her voice had the slightest tremor to it that wouldn’t be misplaced in anyone else, but was plain as day against her usually stoic tone. “I’ve got you now.”

A sob wracked through me. How pathetic was it that I was so weak for such soft words? Pathetic and sad that I’d never heard them from anyone else. Not since my father died.

My hands scrambled against the front of her dress, trying to clutch onto the little, neat rows of pintucks. Her body felt so warm against me, though her skin was always so cold to the touch, that my face instinctively nestled under her chin. My legs brushed up against her arm as I squirmed.

Oh. Her other hand was still inside me.

"Danny," I whined against her jugular and rocked my hips.

"Do you want to stop?"

Did I? My eyes weren't drying up and I couldn't stop clutching and clinging at her, but I didn't want to think about it anymore. I didn't want to think about _him_ anymore. I shook my head against her.

"Madam," She so often said the word as an insult, but this time it was in a sigh. Soft and unsure.

"Please," I tiled my head up and kissed under her chin. "Danny, please can you..."

"Can I?" I didn't need to be able to see her to know she'd raised an eyebrow.

I don't know where the confidence came from, perhaps I was just so tired of it all, but I moved my head and looked her right in the eyes.

"Please can you make me forgot everything else exists?"

Her eyes widened for a moment, clearly as shocked that I was able to ask for what I wanted as I myself was. She hid herself quickly, her demeanour shifting to being hard, and strong and in control.

Exactly what I needed her to be.

"Of course, Madam."

Her fingers moved quickly inside, clearly sensing I wasn't going to be able to handle being teased. I gasped and moaned into her collar as her breath ghosted over my forehead. Despite the pausing and my emotional state, I could tell I wasn't going to last long.

My hands scrambled for purchase on her shoulders as she twisted her wrist, her fingers turning inside me, so her thumb could now reach up and rub against me. The black fabric bunched up in my grip and she pushed her hand harder into me and I tried to push myself up so I could reach her mouth, but she was too far away.

"Danny," I sounded like a child begging to be allowed just one more hour of playtime.

She seemed to almost chuckle before she moved enough for me to move my hands to the back of her neck and pull her lips against mine. She knew I was close, I always did this when I was close (apart from when she had her hands pinning mine back). I always ended up with the urgency for more closeness, but I was aware it was also so I could hide my face. I always felt flushed and embarrassed when she would tell me to look at her and not hide my face as I came.

I was thankful she didn't demand this of me now as I shuddered and gasped into her mouth and clenched around her fingers.

She pulled away from me slowly, almost as if she was reluctant to let me go, concerned I would shatter. She stepped into the bathroom and returned, wiping her fingers on the towel now clutched in her hand. It was warm and damp as she brushed in between my legs and I shook from the overstimulation. She... didn't normally do this.

Normally, once we were both finished and sated, depending on who's room we were in, either she or I would return to our bedroom and clean ourselves up on our own.

She paused for a moment, hovering beside the bed, before she made to turn around but stopped as he hand shot out and closed itself around her wrist.

"I'm sorry, I..." I pulled my hand away, filling with guilt and embarssment.

She sighed. I knew she got frustrated when I apologised. "Madam, if you..." She seemed to choose her words carefully. "Should you need me to stay for a moment..."

The sentence hung in the air and my eyes were prickling again and I was struck with the vision of lying in her arms even as I was reminded of Maxim and it was too much. I shouldn't be allowed to have it.

"I know where the house telephone is, Mrs Danvers."

I could have thought she looked... almost disappointed.

"Get some rest, Madam," She nodded at me and disappeared out of the room.

I should have said yes. I should have asked her to stay. I wanted her to stay. Part of me maybe _needed_ her to stay.

How rotten was I?

At least for a moment I hadn't been able to feel Maxim's hands on me. He hadn't meant to push me that hard, or maybe push me at all perhaps he just meant to grab me. Regardless, I'd fallen down the first three steps of that rickety wooden staircase that almost encircled the boathouse and my ankle had buckled underneath me.

I sniffed and curled onto my side, anger overcoming me for a moment as I stuffed a pillow under my sprained ankle to appease it.

**Author's Note:**

> So i guess the last two smut fics I've written have been angsty ones huh
> 
> I blame (and thank) neednot for this. I never write sex without a romantic relationship (just my personal thing, not against anyone who likes that), but their fic managed to get me to not dislike it and so danvers/ich in this fic is sort of how they establish the relationship as sexual but nor romantic yet, but in this they're starting to realise they have feelings and are staring to shift how they act with each other
> 
> for someone who likes maxim (at least jan ammann's version of him in the musical, i won't go on a rant about how i believe him and i think he genuinely loves ich and he seems to me like someone who's been emotionally abused and and there's things in that i relate to) i sure have written two things in a row where he's the worst
> 
> Title is from Barbarism Begins At Home by The Smiths


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